Pick your battles poster

Pick your battles

Most parents want the best for their children however, there are no set rules for being a perfect parent. Parenting is not about children, but how we rejuvenate ourselves and learn from our children.

We, as parents, want to develop good habits and mannerisms in our children. So we tend to guide or correct them most of the time on various issues like brushing teeth, cleaning up after playtime, sharing toys, or doing their daily chores. When we try to work on all the issues simultaneously it leads to more battles and struggles that are meaningless. Children could express their anxiety through different behavior issues and it’s an emotional drain for the parent.

Parents need to prioritize the habits and choose to work on one significant issue at a time. Based on the priority other issues are put on hold for time being. We need to communicate the same to the child and the most appropriate time to discuss the same could be during the special time together. This time makes the child express their thoughts without the fear of being judged and is a splendid opportunity to build healthy relationships.

This enables the child to avoid frustration with a lot of expectations which otherwise might lead to either an unconscious suppression or power struggle over multiple issues.  Over some time child adapts to the required behavior and turns it into a habit for life. Then we would again pick the next battle accordingly. This leads to a win-win relationship with firmness.

Another thing to keep in mind is to break down the expected behavior into a smaller task. For eg,  if we are working on “sharing” we cannot expect the child to share her favorite toy/ food initially. So, we could break it down by sharing her least favorite toy with family members and then with friends. Each time she shares, reinforce the behavior with a reward that she enjoys. Then gradually she will be motivated to share her favorite toy in return for some goodies.

So let us prioritize our battles and choose to work on one issue at a time with full participation and cooperation from the child!!

Guide children to express their feelings

Guide children to express their feeling

I would like to share a heart-warming incident. My older child had an entrance test for his first grade admission. He is a cheerful, fun loving and carefree child, who would speak his heart out. Couple of days prior to the interview his grandparents gave him lots of advice like do well, write slowly and neatly and so on. He then asked me, “Aunty why is everyone saying all this, do they feel I will not do well in the test”!!! I was perturbed by his thought.  I explained that they were concerned about his test and assured him that he is a smart child and he will do well in the test. On the flip side I was delighted that he was able to express his thoughts openly or else these thoughts would manifest into anxiety and lack of confidence.

These little children also emote various feeling of joy, sad, excitement, anxiety, nervousness, worries, surprise and so on however they are not able to express it clearly with appropriate vocabulary. Due to which these unresolved feelings might be expressed in unhealthy ways or may manifest physically.  So the first step to help children handle their feelings is to help them identify the various feelings and be able to name the feelings.

Succour them to enhance their emotional vocabulary through stories. Give them various opportunities to express their feelings and also share your experience and label your feelings. It is important for children to know that even we as adults also experience the same feelings like them and let them know how we handle our emotions. It’s quite natural to feel upset, angry, shy, and unsure. We need to express it in a healthy manner.  

The next step would be assisting the child to identify the feeling in others. We could share a particular incident and ask the child how they would have felt. We could read stories, create stories of animals experiencing the different emotions, point out the different facial expressions and body language.

Children who are able to express their feeling are

  • Be empathic and supportive of others
  • Channelize their energy productively
  • Perform better in school and their career
  • Have more positive and stable relationships with other children
  • Have good mental health and wellbeing
  • Display less behavioural problems
  • Have a positive sense of self

As adults we need to be good listeners without being judgemental or biased. The child needs know that you understand their feelings.  Dinner time, family time or before bed time would be good time to discuss the happy and unpleasant feelings with your child. At times when the child is experiencing strong emotions we need to guide them to calm down and then discuss the feelings, give it a name and help them think about the different ways to overcome the problem. As children learn to solve their issues, they become more independent and confident.

Ojas Montessori

Catch them doing good things

Many times parents ask us how our children are so organized, confident and abide by the rules of the environment. One of the keys is to catch them doing good. In the Montessori environment, one of the main responsibilities of the adult is to observe the child.  Whenever the child does something nice, the adult genuinely appreciates the child’s effort. Few examples are

  1. If the child waits for her turn to do the artwork – adults appreciate “I know you are eagerly waiting to paint, thanks for waiting for your turn”
  2. It is such a pleasure to see the child carefully, slowly and with such control over his movements to put the chowki down without making a sound. Adult appreciates – you kept the chowki down without making a sound.

This motivates the child to repeat it in the same manner again and again. In case if a child does make a noise or mishandles the material, we do not point it out directly. The Adult demonstrates how it has to be done or brings the child’s attention when another child is doing it right. Most often the second option is very effective.

Unfortunately, in our day-to-day routine, we expect things to happen as expected and our antennas pop up only when we see things not happening as expected. As we keep pointing out the correction, we are sowing the seeds of reinforcing the negative behavior instead we take some time out and observe them doing good and positively reinforce the same, the behaviour is blossomed and nurtured. The reinforcement could be eye contact, smile, hug, pat on the back or a genuine appreciation of effort and thoughts.

This also helps to build a healthy relationship and bond between the adult and child. Also, we need to ensure that mistakes should be expected, encouraged and are self – corrected / realised. The child also needs to see role models who make mistakes, quick to recognize them, ask for forgiveness and improve themselves.

It is our responsibility to nurture a positive environment for the child to explore, grow, and learn from mistakes and blossom without any fear.

Ojas Montessori Blog blog on behaviour

The ABC of Behaviour

The ABC of Behaviour

Tantrums are natural part of childhood wherein the child is still learning to be independent, exploring their surroundings, testing their boundaries, trying to cope with their feeling, they might be upset, tired, hungry or uncomfortable in a new situation. Different children express it in different ways, some are vocal and some are physical while others may get into a shell. As the child learns to build their language skills and handle their big feeling, their tantrums tends to decrease.

As parents we need to help the child to handle the tantrums in a healthy manner. We need to observe the child’s behaviour over a period to find out the reason for the tantrums. 

  • If its lack of sleep, we could comfort the child and ensure he gets adequate sleep.
  • If the child wants to do an activity which is not appropriate, we can patiently wait till he calms down and later talk to them or help them with the right behaviour. If we give in by comforting the child or giving whatever the child wants, then it leads to reinforcing the negative behaviour of the child. Being consistent and calm is the key to help them overcome their big feelings.
  • Need for more attention is another reason. For eg most children throw a tantrum when parents are working, they need to step out etc. So we need to plan our activities when the child is engaged or having a nap.
  • Having few rules and routine helps both the adult and child to interpret and express their needs in ways that are appropriate to the situation and environment.

The ABC model of behaviour helps us to break our observation into three parts

  • Antecedents (A): what happened just before the behaviour occurred.
  • Behaviour (B): the specific action(s) or behaviour of interest.
  • Consequences (C): what happened just after the behaviour occurred.

Antecedents : Analysing the situation just before the behavior gives us an insight, clue, what triggered the incident.

Behaviour : How did the child react, is it screaming, throwing, blowing raspberries, hiding, stomach pain, snatching things.

Consequence : What the child gets as a result of the above behavior or the reaction of the adult due to the behavior.

We need to observe and write down the ABC of the child behavior for a longer stint. This will help us to analyze the issue faced by the child. Depending on the reason we could either avoid such triggers or help the child overcome the problem. Once the trigger is eliminated, the positive behavior is reinforced, consequently the positive behavior results in positive consequence.

Alcohol use: Weighing risks and benefits

In some people, the initial reaction may feel like an increase in energy. This may result in craving alcohol to try to restore good feelings or reduce negative ones. Many people with alcohol intolerance covid alcohol use disorder hesitate to get treatment because they don’t recognize that they have a problem.

Risks start from the first drop

Strengthening alcohol control and road safety policies Despite this, the question of beneficial effects of alcohol has been a contentious issue in research for years. The only thing that we can say for sure is that the more you drink, the more harmful it is – or, in other words, the less you drink, the safer it is,” explains Dr Carina Ferreira-Borges, acting Unit Lead for Noncommunicable Disease Management and Regional Advisor for Alcohol and Illicit Drugs in the WHO Regional Office for Europe.

Webinar: Women, men and alcohol: Why is gender important in alcohol control policies

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  • If you already drink at low levels and continue to drink, risks for these issues appear to be low.
  • Health agencies outside the U.S. may define one drink differently.
  • An intervention from loved ones can help some people recognize and accept that they need professional help.
  • It means on days when a person does drink, women do not have more than one drink and men do not have more than two drinks.

Both the volume of lifetime alcohol use and a combination of context, frequency of alcohol consumption and amount consumed per occasion increase the risk of the wide range of health and social harms. Alcohol consumption contributes to 2.6 million deaths each year globally as well as to the disabilities and poor health of millions of people. In some situations, the risk of drinking any amount of alcohol is high. For men, heavy drinking means more than four drinks on any day or more than 14 drinks a week. For women, more than three drinks on any day or more than seven drinks a week is heavy drinking. Heavy drinking, including binge drinking, is a high-risk activity.

Noncommunicable diseases progress monitor 2025

Overall, harmful use of alcohol is responsible for 4.7% of the global burden of disease. Drinking moderately if you’re otherwise healthy may be a risk you’re willing to take. During pregnancy, drinking may cause the unborn baby to have brain damage and other problems. Heavy drinking also has been linked to intentional injuries, such as suicide, as well as accidental injury and death. That usually means four or more drinks within two hours for women and five or more drinks within two hours for men. As consumption goes up, the risk goes up for these cancers.

It also includes binge drinking — a pattern of drinking where a male has five or more drinks within two hours or a female has at least four drinks within two hours. Unhealthy alcohol use includes any alcohol use that puts your health or safety at risk or causes other alcohol-related problems. Alcohol use disorder includes a level of drinking that’s sometimes called alcoholism.

Can homes, schools and digital platforms drive young people’s alcohol consumption?

  • Moderate alcohol use may not mean the same thing in research studies or among health agencies.
  • This drinking pattern is responsible for the majority of alcohol-attributable breast cancers in women, with the highest burden observed in countries of the European Union (EU).
  • Landmark public health decisions by WHO on essential medicines for alcohol use disorders
  • Tackling the harmful effects of alcohol locally in the city of Tarumã, Brazil

The WHO European Region has the highest levels of alcohol consumption and the highest burden of alcohol-related harm in the world. This manual is written to help primary health care workers – physicians, nurses, community health workers, and others – to deal with persons whose alcohol… “So, when we talk about possible so-called safer levels of alcohol consumption or about its protective effects, we are ignoring the bigger picture of alcohol harm in our Region and the world. Alcohol causes at least seven types of cancer, including the most common cancer types, such as bowel cancer and female breast cancer. Alcohol is a toxic, psychoactive, and dependence-producing substance and has been classified as a Group 1 carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer decades ago – this is the highest risk group, which also includes asbestos, radiation and tobacco. But as you continue to drink, you become drowsy and have less control over your actions.

Double your impact!

Consider talking with someone who has had a problem with drinking but has stopped. Listen to relatives, friends or co-workers when they ask you to examine your drinking habits or to seek help. You might not recognize how much you drink or how many problems in your life are related to alcohol use.

Impact on your health

Around 1 in every 3 deaths in men and 1 in every 5 deaths in women between 30 and 40 years of age were due to alcohol. The negative effects of alcohol consumption disproportionately affect younger and vulnerable populations, and contribute significantly to the burden of noncommunicable diseases in the Region. Every day, around 2191 people die from alcohol-related causes in the Region.

Because denial is common, you may feel like you don’t have a problem with drinking. This disorder also involves having to drink more to get the same effect or having withdrawal symptoms when you rapidly decrease or stop drinking. Over 3 million annual deaths due to alcohol and drug use, majority among men Alcohol as an immunosuppressant increases the risk of communicable diseases, including tuberculosis and HIV.

Global status report on alcohol and health and treatment of substance use disorders

Alcohol is a toxic and psychoactive substance with dependence producing properties. You’ll soon start receiving the latest Mayo Clinic health information you requested in your inbox. If you are a Mayo Clinic patient, we will only use your protected health information as outlined in our Notice of Privacy Practices. Sign up for free and stay up to date on research advancements, health tips, current health topics, and expertise on managing health. Be sure to ask your healthcare professional about what’s right for your health and safety. When taking care of children, avoid alcohol.

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“We cannot talk about a so-called safe level of alcohol use. Early intervention can prevent alcohol-related problems in teens. Too much alcohol affects your speech, muscle coordination and vital centers of your brain. Alcohol use may begin in the teens, but alcohol use disorder occurs more frequently in the 20s and 30s, though it can start at any age. An intervention from loved ones can help some people recognize and accept that they need professional help. Other ways to get help include talking with a mental health professional or seeking help from a support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous or a similar type of self-help group.

The SAFER initiative, launched globally in 2018, supports the implementation of high-impact strategies across the European Region. The WHO European Region has been proactive in addressing the harm caused by alcohol through several key initiatives and frameworks. A relatively high proportion of alcohol harm occurs early in the life course. This comprehensive report details the full extent of the way that alcohol is being marketed across national borders – often by digital means –… WHO highlights glaring gaps in regulation of alcohol marketing across borders

Alcoholic beverages are classified as carcinogenic by the International Agency for Research on Cancer and increase the risk of several cancer types. Alcohol is the leading risk factor for premature mortality and disability among those aged 20 to 39 years, accounting for 13% of all deaths in this age group. Harmful use of alcohol is accountable for 6,9 % and 2.0% of the global burden of disease for males and females respectively.

This initiative includes policies that reduce the affordability, availability, and acceptability of alcohol, particularly in the heaviest-drinking countries, mitigating the effects of alcohol consumption on public health. The Global alcohol action plan 2022–2030, endorsed by WHO Member States, aims to reduce the harmful use of alcohol through effective, evidence-based strategies at national, regional and global levels. This emphasizes the importance of protecting policy-making processes from industry interference that aims to delay or weaken public health measures that would reduce alcohol consumption.

It doesn’t matter how much you drink – the risk to the drinker’s health starts from the first drop of any alcoholic beverage. Theories suggest that for certain people drinking has a different and stronger impact that can lead to alcohol use disorder. Binge drinking causes significant health and safety risks. The 2010 WHO Global strategy to reduce the harmful use of alcohol and the 2022 WHO Global action plan are the most comprehensive international alcohol policy documents, endorsed by WHO Member States, that provides guidance on reducing the harmful use of alcohol at all levels. WHO works with Member States and partners to prevent and reduce the harmful use of alcohol as a public health priority. The risks increase largely in a dose-dependent manner with the volume of alcohol consumed and with frequency of drinking, and exponentially with the amount consumed on a single occasion.

Deciding about drinking

For example, any amount of drinking increases the risk of breast cancer and colorectal cancer. It also causes harm to the well-being and health of people around the drinker. The European framework for action on alcohol, 2022–2025, adopted by all 53 Member States, uses the latest evidence to address alcohol-related harms through comprehensive, evidence-based policies and collaborative efforts. Alcohol is a toxic, psychoactive substance linked to over 200 diseases and conditions, including 7 types of cancer. The technical package for the SAFER initiative focuses on five key alcohol policy interventions that are based on accumulated evidence of their impact… The global SAFER initiative is a partnership between WHO, UNIATF, UNDP and civil society organizations to advocate for and facilitate implementation of the most cost-effective interventions to reduce alcohol related harm.

In the United States, moderate drinking for healthy adults is different for men and women. The evidence for moderate alcohol use in healthy adults is still being studied. Many people drink alcohol as a personal preference, during social activities, or as a part of cultural and religious practices. Drinking alcohol is a health risk regardless of the amount. The harmful use of alcohol results in the death of 2.6 million people annually.

Genetic, psychological, social and environmental factors can impact how drinking alcohol affects your body and behavior. If you’re concerned about someone who drinks too much, ask a professional experienced in alcohol treatment for advice on how to approach that person. If your pattern of drinking results in repeated significant distress and problems functioning in your daily life, you likely have alcohol use disorder.